


Every Bottom's a Top

by orphan_account



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Humor, Multi, Sexual Humor, Top Marco Bott, congrats on the sex cakes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-14
Updated: 2014-09-14
Packaged: 2018-02-17 10:36:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,137
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2306606
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Just a normal day at the Jaeger-Titan household, meaning that there are "Congrats on the Sex" cakes to be made, bets to be won, and everyone to be embarrassed in general.</p>
<p>Did we mention that Marco Bodt cannot bottom?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Every Bottom's a Top

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know where this came from?? Like I was talking to Ponyboy about Youtube gamer Jeanmarco au at the height of the FNAF's craze and it somehow led to intense discussion of bottom!Jean and this was born???
> 
> I like this AU though. Jaeger-Titan household au. This is certainly not the last in this au.

One of the few concrete rules of the two households was that if you couldn’t keep the noise localized to your room, don’t do it at all. Those who did do it, and were noisy enough that the sound traveled through thin walls, were to be embarrassed at all costs, in the form of cake. Nice, homemade cake, reading (quite bluntly): “Congrats on the Sex! Fuck You.” The names of the parties involved were also included, and that was that.

Now, this happened quite often. It was only a rare few times that someone could have nice, quiet sex, and most of the time, even the quietest of moans could alert the person one room over. It soon went from “bake them a cake every time they have sex” to “bake a cake whenever the sex is so loud you can’t sleep.”

Thankfully, at least two couples proved capable of doing this.

They also proved to be the only two couples with females in them.

Fast forward a few months into this arrangement, when something happened. Something so loud that even those in the neighboring house could hear it, loud and clear. Which is why Annie and Krista dragged a very sleepy Bertholdt, Reiner, and Ymir over to the “Jaeger Program”, as the household was affectionately referred to, at five A.M.

Cake baking went quietly, because no one wanted to awaken the perpetrators from a well earned sleep (they had to admit it would be nicer if THEY had gotten some sleep, too, but with all that racket, they were probably exhausted). Eren was the last of the sing-song-a-whats-it trio to awaken, having apparently fallen back into sleep after all that noise. He was quickly pressed into action by Mikasa, who denied him even a single coffee break until the cake had been iced and completed.

“Congrats on the Sex! Fuck You, Jean and Marco.”

It took until eight for them to finally emerge from the bedroom, still yawning and tired. For once, though, Jean didn’t look ready to kill a man before having his coffee, and Marco seemed content with the horrendous bedhead he suffered from. By this time, everyone had spread out, across the house. Eren was still nursing his second cup of coffee, chatting quietly with Reiner. Annie had curled up on the couch, laying on Mikasa and Armin’s laps, apparently having fallen asleep again. Ymir was trying to discourage Krista from climbing onto Bertholdt’s shoulders, and failing quite miserably (which only caused the man to sweat profusely as she gave him threatening glances. Krista would probably die if she fell from that height).

As soon as the two were spotted however (by a very eager Eren), a loud chorus of “aaaayyyyy!” rose from those present, as they started moving closer to crowd the two recently discovered lovebirds. Even Annie was woken up to join in (albeit reluctantly) in the chorus. Two mugs full of coffee prepared the exact way they liked it were passed to them, and they were guided to the kitchen counter for the ceremonial cake presentation that had caused them all to gather there.

“Holy shit, dudes, you’re the first couple to bring both houses together for cake in the morning!”

“Yeah, you must’ve been nailing him real good!”

“Just how much do you like Marco’s ass, Jean?”

Together, they crowded around Jean, prying, asking things, and he leaned against the counter, grinning and basking in the attention. Behind him, Marco sat, gently swishing his coffee and staring down into the depths of the cup, until a lull in conversation was reached, and he finally spoke up. “I topped.”

Dead quiet. The silence could almost literally be cut with a knife, as everyone, Jean included, turned to face Marco with a shocked look on their face. The freckled man merely smiled softly, took a drink from his mug, and continued, quietly, “In fact, most of those noises were from Jean.”

And again. “He has the cutest orgasm face.”

At that moment, Eren looked at the two, holding his coffee. He looked down into the cup and back at the two. He was silent.

Finally Ymir broke the quiet, sliding over and next to Marco, a slender arm wrapping around his shoulders. “Ayyyy, man, I always knew you had it in you! Hell fucking yeah, that’s right, ain’t no one going to top in this relationship but Freckles-!”

Her congratulations were cut short by a sudden, sweet voice. “I guess Jean isn’t the only one falsely assumed to top.”

Ymir froze, her face turning abnormally pale in horror as she turned to face Krista, her eyes wide. Eren’s grip on the cup tightened. It was a wonder it hadn’t broken already. Wow, Eren, control your grip!

Another moment of silence reigned through the group, before Reiner finally took a step forward, breaking into a grin. “Who would’ve thought it! Haha, congratulations to you then, Krista! I knew you always had it in you-!”

“I guess that makes three of us then.”

Now it was Reiner’s turn to freeze, and break out into a sweat almost worthy of the man he turned to face. A chorus of “ooooo”s sped around the room. Eren sank to his knees. The hand in which he held his coffee mug trembled. His eyes were the most glazed over, dead shade of blue green they had ever been.

Jean, meanwhile, had stomped over to Marco, burying his face against his shoulder in an attempt to hide it from view. Marco reached out, wrapping his free arm around Jean’s shoulders and pulling him close, rubbing gently and whispering soothing words in between Jean’s angry grumbles. Everyone else’s gazes swept the room, questioning, and Armin stepped back, raising his hands defensively. “Hey, woah,” he said, voice firm and clear. “I know what you’re thinking already, and yes, I can confirm with absolute certainty for those wondering, Mikasa definitely tops.”  
Eren’s shaking hands dropped the mug of coffee to the ground. He lay down there, his shirt and skin and pants becoming drenched by the long cold liquid. He was dead inside. Though his heart may have continued to beat, he was dead.

At that moment, Annie slunk from the edge of the counter, over towards Eren’s limp form, nudging him with her foot. “Hey. Pay up later, all right? That’s a thousand dollars on the combined guesses on who topped in all the relationships, plus fifty dollars on whether or not Mikasa and Armin had engaged in sexual activity before.”

There was a low scream from the fallen hero, a look of horror on Jean’s face, and a few shaky glances exchanged as everyone tried to figure out how much money they owed to everyone else on the bets.

Just a normal day in the Jaeger-Titan households.


End file.
